Listen to my own thoughts

recharged ur soul and ready to start 2011?

I dont think I am :)

I decided to spend my christmas break in france and germany (pics are here). traveling.

I had bout ten days off after the last exam on Dec 20, coz new period would be started on Jan 2

This should have been a perfect holiday to refresh yourself from a high tense period this last one month

supposedly a flawless escape from wageningen routine and all those demanding campus life

to some extent, yes it was

but somehow it ended up sketchy to me

well, I dont know, just no "click"

the problem is in me

I love traveling. I do love it. Benny knows this well, and we're on the same page for this.

for us, traveling is not just about how much pictures you take in popular spots, not about how hard you play and hang out there, not about how great is the culinary experience there.

for me (and am sure so does Benny), traveling is about how you feel the city. give yourself as much as possible time and space to relax, redefine yourself and listen to your own thoughts there, in the newly visited cities. that's what traveling means for us. coz we consider traveling as an escape from the daily routine. Daily life is stressful enough, full of pressure and sometimes forces you to be the other figure. traveling gives you space to re-known yourself. that's why, even if we go together, we've never mind if one of us need sometime to be alone, go for coffee or drink by (my/his) own somewhere in the city that we visited, we dont bother each other.

I made a mistake this time. I wasn't traveling w/ Benny and they might have different intentions. and most of the things this time is also: I left some work on my desk. this is quite annoying. I had an unfinished draft for my publication, revision to my final assignment, etc.

next time, I have to make sure that I plan my trip well. this note might be helpful then.

happy new year and hope you all have another year filled by health, happiness, and success! all the best!

simply love

blog walking, came across a touching post *drama queen mode is on

simply...love

free translation of the post is:

"to me, love and marriage is about choosing the right person to spend your whole life with. After all the years, after the lovey-dovey mood is flashed out, we're old and those wrinkles are on our face, the only thing left is: he and I in a delighting casual chat. just like an old friend's chat"

how simple the love is.

this is not about how you find your prince charming, how gorgeous-fabulous-incredibly smart, or anything else he is.

this is about how you find your truly mate

so, have you found the love?

(another) Paragliding story

after falling in love with snorkeling and mountain biking for quite a while

he has another thing to be in love with now, paragliding... *sigh

he just spent the weekend in Sikuai and somewhere in Maninjau for this

ya ampun boiboi, kalau aku ngga disana ngga ada yang ngomel nyuruh potong rambut

jadi gondrong dotcom *hadeuh

hemmm, when will I be the first boiboi. many things lined up to get your very first attention, I have to wait after electronic gadgets, mountain biking, snorkeling and now: paragliding....

Snotty little me

not sure whether am too stressful to face the exam tomorrow or this is just peculiarity in me

am humming along w/ my iTunes tracks, dancing around, here and there

snotty little me is sneaking out :p

Malam minggu yang aneh (dan mengkhawatirkan).......

feel so blue

miss my besties

exam on monday

heaps of lecture notes to go are just waiting there on my desk

last hi w/ Nana was a phone talk end of nov

last hi w/ fio was a quick chat on Yahoo! this morning

well, I feel bad to miss Ntie's wedding last nov

uhuhuhu, kak yanaaa....miss you

last few months before headed to holland, I used to sleep at her place when Benny's away

last pic when we took a stroll to grand indonesia

hope you're no longer Miss-lazy-to-find-parking space-in mall

most of the time ended up w/ valet parking :p

Geeky Benny

Benny finally found a little escape to Bogor after that hectic emergency situation due to Mentawai response.

Last week, he handed all those Mentawai working load to the newly hired staffs. Getting back to the main job makes him realized that he needs some discussion and coordination meeting w/ head office so then decided to spend this whole friday in Jakarta.

well ok, as usual, once he is in Jakarta, there's always a reason for electronic shopping *pheww

pretty sure and yes indeed, he was doing so after the heavy discussions in the head office.

at this very moment, he's longing to find a good mate for his Nikon D90.. a GPS connector for geotagging

you're still my geeky Benny :D

I recall when we spent a weekend in Putri Island and you were kinda autistics w/ your new gadgets, hate that!

checking the wind speed on the way to Weh island...

come on boboi, put back that anemometer to your pocket, you're not the boat crew, no need to do that :p

To me, your lovely laptop, gps, and all those gadgets are really big trouble :p

playing around w/ those things takes so much of your time and sometimes get over me

enough w/ looking around from one to another Nikon dealer, he's now finally laying down n get off to bed in our lovely house in Bogor...hiks hiks wish I were there :(

White Saturday

Am I nuts? am afraid yes :p

Snowfall is too exciting for me and Sacha to go out for pics even it's -8oC cold

This morning we went to the neighboring city just for a little weekend fun, attending a short campaign from the candidates for next president of Indonesian Student Association and we ended up taking silly pics around campus.

Kabul?! whatttt....

yes, that's my first question to Benny last time when we had a serious phone talk bout his short term planning.

soon UN earthquake recovery network in Padang will be finished.

some staff will be distributed to other UN mission and some other might stay for Mentawai Response - as fyi there was another earthquake attack in west sumatra recently, it was in Mentawai.

well, ok..then we ended up w/ the discussion that available post for Geo Info system specialist is in Kabul - Afghanistan.*phewwww*

He's been confirmed by the HR department bout this but then he postponed to give his answer. Basically he left this on my hand to decide whether or not to take this offer.

Hummm, I've actually never had any objection for his work. The worst case by far was Timor Leste 2009, we nearly had NO way to get in touch when he was there. coz he traveled a lot to remote areas in Timor Leste, which we are very much aware how difficult to find any internet connection or even cell phone contact. He was there for 8 months and I must admitted that was the most difficult 8 months in our relationship. But we're ok anyway. Even we didn't talk over the phone at all but time to time if he had a spare time during weekend he took a morning flight to Bali, crossed the country and we met.

Then now, Kabul....mmm, what should I say...

I googled, and we positively say NO :D

Hope he's good enough to convince his boss and ask for a position in Jakarta :p

goodluck boiboi!

Welcoming Winter on my Birthday

far in the distance is the sport center and soccer field of my univ, covered by snow..

Ya, winter is coming already...

Light snow covered all over Wageningen

Dry and freezing wind is blowing through my window, together w/ all those birthday wishes

Very kind of Sacha, Astri, Adrian and Affan to bring me this mocca cake sharply at 12 just half an hour ago

Thank you and love y'all!

angkasa tanpa pesan

halfmoon

blooming purple orchid

a cup of hot tea

perfect harmony of saturday nite in my wordless atmosphere......

Pasta makes life easier for a lazy bum

gloomy saturday

a crazy hungry lazy bum put the sliced chicken, spinach, pesto and macaroni altogether

and voila!

your lunch is ready :)

*turning on Billy Ray's Give My Heart To You*

Percobaan Kedua

me: "hi boiboi, I just finished my presentation for the afternoon course. Thank God I made it "

Benny: "Good. Anyway, am going to spend my weekend in Bukit Tinggi"

me: "owryt boiboi. Hey, bout last week, again thanks you're always there when I looked back"

Benny: "Oh come on Kiboi, sekarang aku merasa seperti tukang parkir kalau kamu bilang begitu. komparasi lain selain petugas PLN"

me: *silent*

ok, no more try for a lovey dovey talk w/ him......

Anda merasa seperti petugas PLN juga?

me: "aku keep going dengan course siangku nih. Tq boiboi, you're the one am looking for when there's no light to break out the dark"

Benny: apa? aku kok merasa seperti petugas PLN dengernya

me: *silly grin* "dasar...aku sharing ke temen-temen juga sih disini"

Benny: wah banyak dong petugas PLN nya?

me: *gubrak*

Nothing's ever out of reach

I just made my second start

I put my head on the cloud and start dreaming - again

You're always there when I looked back, gimme your hands and wipe my tears

This might be harder than I thought but I believe that nothing's ever out of reach.........

untitled

I know, this is annoying to see my few last posts are all just grumble and complaint

but trust me, these weeks are difficult. this might be my worst situation within this last three months.

many things in my head now and do not know how to channel them out

bad.

New Period!

yay! exam is over

didn't write so much recently coz nothing is special. I spent most of the time at home last two weeks.

for the sake of statistics and climate change economics I tried so hard to be very well mingled with those theories *phew*

and now, I have to get ready for the second period. the schedule is scaring me a lot. In 5 working days per week, I have 4 days w/ 8 hours classes and 1 day w/ 4 hours classes. am sure this will perfectly kill me.

there is no way to get out of this mess but go w/ the flow. wish for me.

:(

useless

have you ever been in the situation where you have nothing in life but zero?

I am exactly in that situation now

I came to the conclusion that my life means nothing for anybody else

you may call me drama queen but it's true to some extent

as a daughter, I've spent half of my age away from my parents and do not really have enough time to take care of them, make them happy, so on and so forth

and my love life, I've never really felt that I am good enough for Benny. We've been dating for more than seven years. quite a while. I must admitted, Benny plays more significant role in our relationship. he is super kind - we've never had a bad debating time. anytime I angry, he's cooling down and control the situation. Counting our bad time, is doable by your one hand's fingers. he is insightful - I can discuss so many thing w/ him. Compare to me, am kind of nothing in this relationship. am just a grumpy dumpy girl who always ruin up his day.

as a friend, I also mean nothing. am the most replaceable person :p

I've never been in a situation where friend needs me a lot for some reason

too bad. I could not find anything good in me.

Terrible Sunday

Quick update on recent mood: TERRIBLE

kyaaaa....tomorrow is my very first exam here

really worry *crying*

and fyi, tomorrow's exam would be Advance Statistics! ok, this topic is already scaring enough for me and this is worsen by the fact that am gonna have this as the very first exam in wur - multiple layers of worriedness :p last but not least, English is not my mother tongue, I must admitted that I am also afraid if I'd be interpreting the question differently or wrong.. *pheww*

Students are allowed to bring the text book, by far we've been using Ott and Longnecker book, very rich w/ examples and exercises. We can also bring a summary in two-sided A4 and in our own handwriting. am working on it now. It's not easy to make a summary that will effectively help you during the exam. This is not just a matter of putting the formulas from lecture notes to something more condensed version.

well, enough, am grumbling too much...back to study!

wait wait wait - one more thing, staying at home during the study week has been successfully turning me to be a humpty-dumpty Kiki...so sad :( have to work harder in gym after the exams.

Indomie Seleraku

Apart from the issue of deadly content in Indomie, I am consistently having this addicting noodle for lunch these last three days during the study week.

The only variation I made was this poor lumpia :p I simply sautéed some vegetables and carelessly wrapped them up w/ lumpia pastries. I had this yesterday.

I try to make this Indomie as good as possible to feed my nutritional needs by adding some veggies+egg/shrimp/meatball.

poor Kiki :( hope I have much more appropriate meals tomorrow

one more thing, oh gosh - this is my third day not to get out of my house at all.. *pheww*

"Snack" Bar

Few times back, I had my sat nite dinner w/ friends at a snack bar nearby...

trust me, you never know what snacks you are dealing with at the bar here. huuuge portion of french fries, chicken satay and soup. ck ck ck.

Next time, I'll be more careful to define what snack is.

Sunrise in my eyes

What a perfect morning.....

Study Week

Exam is coming rather fast and study week's just started...

nothing more I am waiting for but get through this high tense periods

wish for me! :)

Nosebleed and Bumi Manusia

well ya, after having a fever for quite a bit, my nose keeps bleeding now coz my body hasnt adapted well yet to the cold weather. Yesterday the temp reached -3oC.

Anyway, I came across an inspiring quote from Pramoedya Ananta Toer last nite. He's the famous writer from Indonesia. He was jailed for couples of time due to his controversial books on cultural breakthrough, criticizing governance and some other sensitive areas.

Jangan sebut aku perempuan sejati kalau aku masih hidup berkalang lelaki. Tapi bukan berarti aku tidak butuh lelaki untuk kucintai

- Bumi Manusia -

free translation from those above words are:

Do not name me a true woman if I still depended on a man. But that does not mean I do not need a man to love.

freedom is perfectly worded here. woman needs some space for a self-being, but that doesn't mean she is totally lost. She still respects man properly.

have a great sunday everyone!

Slices of Apple

I normally just bite when I eat apples, never care bout slicing them

but today, I hardly open my mouth and decided to slice them into pieces, hope this will be easier for me to eat - not really sure though, coz I feel bitter on my tongue, dont want to eat! :(

I phoned Benny yesterday by the way, particularly to tell him that am sick...he ended up w/ sending me his newest pic and he asked me to take some medicines.

Big hugs for Yessie, Sacha, Krystal, Mai for taking care of me. Hope am gonna feel better soon.

*) stop telling me comments that he looks younger guys...ok?! :p

My Room was on "Fire"

well, my room was literally on fire yesterday...very bad

The story begins w/ the fever, my body chose the right time to sick - ya, a week heading to the exams

I dont know whether this is because of the weather change or viruses

I fried some snacks+chicken and I left it for a little nap, then I suddenly smelt something bad

and wow, my kitchen was burned!

have no idea how to fix them up, I'll be working on it later when I feel better...phewww, I feel horrible - got fever and pain on my bones. I skip the class today, emailed the professor and thankful he allows me to take a rest.

Pizza: "Punten...."

Not sure if you find this pic funny:

(pic was taken in Utrecht)

in my mother tongue, "punten" means "excuse me"

so this pizza booth seems to me as someone who asked for an excuse

*silly grin*

Autum is coming

Have I told you that the trees are turning into the cute yellow already?

Last weekend, I spent my saturday in Utrecht - a neighboring city

took some pics of autumn

they also went for shopping

Lovely weather......

Messy week

hihi, didnt realize that time flies rather fast

red line for my daily life last week: COMPLETELY MESS

I had some paper works, moving - yes am moving to a new room now, and summarizing reading materials coz the exam is coming in the next two weeks.

I decided to move to the other room but still within my current flat. A friend just finished her thesis and back home soon, so she offered the room to me. In addition to kitchen, this room has private bathroom and toilet. After quite a while in my old room and sharing the shower room w/ the other corridor mates, I prefer to have my own bathroom, more comfortable I assumed. Likewise, this room also has good view. some pics of my new room:

I never know that moving is soooo much time consuming. Especially when you are moving internally or room exchange with a friend. The house company does not responsible for cleaning and clearing out the stuffs if we are exchanging the room internally. The company only takes the note and changes your tenancy contract.

Fyi, I took more than an hour to only clean this electric stove - you can imagine how many hour I spent to clean the whole room, unpacked and arrange my stuffs *phewww*

before (left hand) and after (right hand) cleaning....what an effort, thanks to the magic liquid named CIF to make life easier.

gladly to say that now this room is cushioned

ok, I'll keep the other story on paper work and reading summary for myself, I bet you'd be bored to hear me talked bout them

Love life

I was wondering - supposedly a little worry.....

Silently sitting on my bed, mused about my relationship w/ Benny

In my morning post, I already mentioned that time flies and I just realized that I did not talk to him at all for some while. I do not even have a single video chat as of today - my second month in holland.

But we feel ok by far, nothing wrong..not until this morning when I was questioning if this is normal.

Blog walking then I came across this post where relationship was nicely worded by Diana Rikasari

I just think there's always a way to balance things out, and we just simply should. I cannot imagine that I used to spend time with my best friends, and suddenly stopped doing so just because I have a boyfriend. I enjoy having my friends and boyfriend together, and I am very much relieved that S thinks the same way. We never mind having our Saturday nights shared with our friends, because we like the idea that friends are family, and families grow bigger, not smaller and get replaced.

I am in love with S, but he is not my whole world. He is metaphorically, but in real life, I need my friends just as much as I need S, my family, my work and self-being.

I am very much grateful to have Benny, we are on the same page. We see relationship from the other side that most people may does not see.

Again, I thank God to send him who completely understand that we still need a self-being, have our own work, friends and family besides our love life. Beyond a lovey-dovey, we're good partner and mutually beneficial.

So, then I came to the conclusion, this is normal - at least for us... me: Happy!

West Sumatra and its Nature Perfection

Just talked w/ my-Benny bout poster design and some other small things...(well, I then realized that I didnt talk to him at all these days)

one of the things, he mentioned bout his weekend planning: Paragliding

sounds interesting.

Benny is now based in Padang West Sumatra which offers a lot of fabulous spots and adventure options. Last time - just before I left for holland, I spent a weekend w/ benny in Lembah Harau, just for sightseeing....we had perfect companies at that time, a number of his colleagues in UN-office who were going to do rock climbing.

We had a breakfast in this nice restaurant of Echo Lodging.

In spite of the earthquake misfortune last year, West Sumatra still holds it's magnificence.